productivity vs. fruitfulness

Tina and I like to get things done. To watch Tina at 6:30 am, when her resevoir of energy is at its fullest, is like watching one of those speeded up movies with the characters buzzing to and fro. It's a blur. And nothing gives me greater pleasure than attacking a project. I am focused, nothing deters me and I don't stop just because I'm tired, dehydrated, experiencing chest pains -- little things like that. When we do things together, we are productive. It's how we're wired. We've always been that way. I really don't expect it to change much. In fact, there's not much incentive to change. American culture rewards that makeup -- it's the standard. I often resent it when I don't feel others approach their lives or ministries in the same way -- when they're not working as hard as us, when they seem to judge everything by how well it fits with their gifts, their energy level, their need for peace or time off or fun. After all, its better to burn out than rust out, right?

Being on sabbatical has challenged me. To be sure, we have time for productivity. We have accomplished household projects with delight. We have checked things off the list. Whether we have been at home or abroad, we have arisen to each new day with the knowledge that it is a gift not to be wasted. We are to be stewards of it. And for the most part, this has meant being sure that I work on the sabbatical assignments I was given, that I maintain productive spiritual disciplines, that I not engage in trivial pursuits. I even researched and wrote a book. So why am I feeling challenged?

It is from the the idea of letting my field lie fallow. Unproductive. It is living in that place where my life circumstance dictates that I believe in the idea of replenishment. That soil, when given a rest, will become more fertile. Sabbath -- ceasing from work -- becomes the seedbed for greater productivity.

Enter Henri Nouwen, who would take issue with the way I am using the word "productivity." He would applaud my desire to be a good steward of my life. But he would give a gentle corrective. "A call to live a fruitful life does not necessarily imply a call to be productive." (Lifesigns: Intimacy, Fecundity, and Ecstasy in Christian Perspective, Image Books, 1986) While acknowledging that productivity is good, he addresses the potentially improper motivation in productivity, and the false promises of productivity to deliver what it does not have the power to, when he says, "in our contemporary society, with its emphasis on accomplishment and success, we often live as if being productive is the same as being fruitful. Productivity gives us certain notoriety and helps take away our fear of being useless." He goes on to say that lives that are anchored in God's love, and not lived in fear (fear of rejection, fear of uselessness, etc.) are free to bear fruit, fruit that is a gift, an automatic outcome of who we are. "Whenever we trust and surrender ourselves to the God of love, fruits will grow." "Some of us might be productive and others not, but we are all called to bear fruit; fruitfulness is a true quality of love."

Undoubtedly Tina and I will maintain our list of projects. We will check things off the list with vigor. Weather on sabbatical or in the heat of ministry we will "work as unto the Lord" (Colossians 3:23). But I know that one outcome of this sabbatical for me will be the greater freedom to let things rest and trust that fruit will grow. At the end of the day, the point is to live a fruitful life, not just a busy one. Jesus said, "I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last" (John 15:16).